Captain Ooneneeky Cheeky
Star Commander Angus Headrush
Earthling Jane Davies
Garth "Space Cowboy" Sumpter
John "B'Tardy" Cook
Alan "" Dykes
Pete "Astro" Gerrard
Phillip "Black Hole" Fisch
Jerry "Astronomical" Hall
Jo "Goodbye Girl" Gleissner
Mark "Hard to ..." Swallow
There are no dogs in this issue. We only review the best games in SU. Who wants to know what NOT to buy?
|3D STOCK CAR RACER||E&J|
|They are Stock Cars alright but where's the 3D gone?|
|BUBBLE DIZZY||Code Masters|
|Dizzy's underwater. Hitching rides on bubbles is the only way out.|
|Can you save the Earth from environmental destruction?|
|GRAND PRIX CHALLENGE||Code Masters|
|This budget racer from Alternative is surprisingly good.|
|GHOULS AND GHOSTS||US Gold|
|Fab arcade game and a good conversion make this a great budget buy!|
|HARD DRIVIN'||Hit Squad|
|Amazing graphics abound in this quirky, sim-cum' racer!|
|Archaic but still fun? Hobgoblin's out to show old games can still cut it!|
|... and the last Crusade. Jump, climb and crack your whip (oooh)|
|Hack, slash and fight your way through levels of mayhem and mishap.|
|QUATTRO FIGHTERS||Code Masters|
|It's those toady Codies and their latest super compilation.|
|RICK DANGEROUS||Hit Squad|
|Microprose's old magic man and hero gets himself onto budget.|
We've got it all this month. Games-a-plenty with MARSPORT from Gargoyle Games, have fun playing SAGA OF A MAD BARBARIAN and don't forget the SU PRIZE GAME - SWEEVO'S WORLD! We've got techie bits too with the TK50 Toolkit - a superb tool for any programmer, and a DISASSEMBLER to rip your code around. MUSIC TOP 10 that makes your Spectrum jump and a crop of load-in cheats in TIPS AMAZING and Graham Mason's very own POKEMANIA!
An SU Silver award and one of the best shoot-em ups we've seen in a while. Turn to page 17 for the def review.
Hannah Smith's cheats with the best and her tips are legendary.
Win Win Win!
WWF videos are up for grabs courtesy of those OCEAN bods. Hulk Hogan in your living room! You'd better move all the breakables stuff out of the lounge first though.
The Great 8
Tell It To Garth
Greetings Earthlings! As delivered to you last month by my own gargantuan intellect, the motley group you have come to know so dearly as The SU Crew no longer exist and I, Fnot the Irreverent, have replaced them with my own minions, a band so awesome in intelligence that spelling mistakes, typographical errors and yeh, even black type on black backgrounds will be a thing of the past! So let us waste little time in re-introducing you to the new SU Crew.
Unfortunately I have to report that the Commander and one other member of my normally faithful, yet slightly sycophantic, crew have gone AWOLS (Absent Without Life Support) this month. Whilst parading around Shepherd's Bush showing anyone who would listen his abnormally large dough rolling accessories, he was abducted by three men in blue uniforms who felt it necessary to rearrange his eating digits to resemble black and white piano keys. The Commander has not been heard of since, despite many reconnaissance missions.
S.C. Angus Headrush
S.C. Headrush was despatched without delay to retrieve the Commander. Armed only with a sawn-off ukelele and a weeks supply of irradiated bagels, Headrush soon picked up the trail and recently reported that he had heard rumours of a flabby pink mammal scouring the Welsh countryside in search of wheat! There is hope that this is the Crew leader and news has just broken that a strange duo have been seen walking slowly down the M1 towards London singing old Mary Hopkins numbers, thumbing it!
Captain Ooneneeky Cheeky
It's hard to keep tabs on Cheeky because she is a rare cross breed of Shiple Throb and South American Horny Toad and thus can change form in different temperatures. Unfortunately this is not possible to control and once, during a ceremonial dinner commemorating the birth of our race in front of the High Admiral of the Fleet, the waiter bought the coffee jug too close to her body and she instantly turned into a South American pig farmer with severe bowel problems and little regard for personal hygiene. The whole affair was very embarrassing, especially when Commander Colininabadway remarked on what a close resemblance she bore to the Admiral's mother!
Science Officer Star Label
Star Label is the lightweight member of the crew - he weighs less than a second hand curry on a bad night. He's taken over from Chief Science Officer Blogg after it was found that Blogg was not only reading an extremely illegal, black market copy of "Asphalt Users Monthly", outlawed for 3000 years on planet Wimpy for its controversial statements regarding the use of black gravel for thicker peat, but also reciting verses and memorandums from previous Asphalt Workers' meetings. Star Label is therefore in and he assures us that he will make a concrete contribution to the rest of the crew.
© Copyright 1992
No part of this magazine may be reproduced without the consent of the publishers. So there. Incidentally, I hope you all got what you wanted for Christmas. I, Fnot the Irreverent, have got what I wanted - I'm rid of the pesky SU Crew and have got my hands on their magazine - in a short while now, my plans for Earth domination will be complete - and the SU Crew are stuck are the other side of the galaxy - No-one can save the Earth now!